Funny Quotes: Witty Reflections to Bring Joy and Laughter

Funny

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

061

Basketball

These young guys are playing checkers. I’m out there playing chess.

054

Country

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

040

Funny

Our happiest moments as tourists always seem to come when we stumble upon one thing while in pursuit of something else.

048

Funny

Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.

040

Funny

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

049

Character

What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller

056

Funny

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

057

Funny

It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.

059

Funny

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

063

Funny

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.

056

Funny

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

054

Funny

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

049

Funny

Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat.

063

Funny

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.

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