Funny Quotes: Witty Reflections to Bring Joy and Laughter

Christmas

Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.

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Change

Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.

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Funny

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

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Funny

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

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Funny

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

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Funny

One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.

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Funny

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

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Funny

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

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Funny

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

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Funny

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.

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Education

I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.

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Funny

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

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Funny

Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.

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Funny

Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.

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Funny

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

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